When Tangents Attack: The Rise and Fall of The Rocket Patrol!

 (originally published August 16th, 2018)

Awhile ago, I was playing in an superhero rpg, and (as is so often the case), I came up with an idea for a minor supporting character whose main job would be to provide background ‘colour’. The main focus of the game was on a school for young superhumans but, it was reasoned that such an institute could also provide assistance for older people... a time-traveller from Victorian England could provide assistance in learning about the historical developments of the last hundred years or so, an alien from another world could find a safe environment to learn about human culture and civilization, etc... And so, we got the Rocket Patrol. The basic idea was a number of retired Atomic Age Space Adventurers who’d spent the last half-century or so on an alien world. Essentially, something like DC comics’s Star Rovers or Knights of the Galaxy, mixed in with some Tom Corbett, Space Cadet, Dan Dare, Flash Gordon et. al., filtered through a post-modern, Warren Ellis-style reworking. As we were going Ellisian, the main character would be Corporal Harriet Hellgate, a tough-as-nails Warren Ellis heroine, with a good line in vicious smack-talk and no time for your bullshit, and the rest sort of fell into place. After World War II, it was decided that a small but elite group of soldiers and scientists would band together to defend America against threats from space, both external and internal. They were known colloquially as 'The Rocket Patrol' and consisted of Captain Lance 'Sky' Masters, his fiancee and former Army Nurse, Corporal Harriet Hellgate, Scientific Advisor Professor Digby Dumfries, and Ship's Mechanic Sergeant Jeremiah 'Jets' Jefferson. For over a decade, they monitored strange signals from space and, when trouble reared its head, launched into action aboard their experimental government Rocketship, the 'Shooting Star'. The end came in 1958 when, while investigating the appearance of a hitherto unknown satellite in the orbit of Mars, the Shooting Star simply vanished, only to reappear and crash-land on the surface of an interdimensional version of the Red Planet. On this strange new version of Mars, they discovered two races seemingly at war - the fair-skinned and scientifically-advanced but physically fragile Nacera, and the ferocious and barbarous Klosov. The Nacera lived in vast, palatial cities, but were almost constantly under threat of attack from the Klosov and, while they had access to advanced technology, the secrets of repairing and maintaining it had been largely lost over the centuries. The Rocket Patrol immediately offered to help and, between their Earthborne ingenuity, technical prowess, courage and determination, they finally, after a great many battles, managed to drive the Klosov back to their mountain caves.

Following this victory, they were treated like god-kings, mostly Captain Masters, who accepted the offer of rulership over the Nacera, however, it wasn't too long before cracks began to show in this perfect new world. Firstly, Professor Dumfries, in trying to repair some of the Nacera technology, discovered that the writing and inscriptions more closely resembled the cave markings he'd found in Klosov Dwellings than in any artefact of the Nacera, who didn't seem to have a system of writing at all. Corporal Hellgate felt increasingly neglected by her fiancee who kept fobbing off her questions about when they'd finally get married by stating that, with the war over, there was so much rebuilding to do. Still, it always seemed that a lot of that "rebuilding" involved spending time with the Nacera Generals and Warrior Caste in the company of attractive Nacera Serving Women. When she confronted him with this, he accused her of having too much dratted feminine curiosity and suspicion, and that she only wanted him to marry her so that she could become God-Queen.

If anything, Jefferson was even more isolated. The Nacera were pale-skinned, almost opalescent, and as a result, his dark skin was seen as a weird curiosity to them. Like Corporal Hellgate, he was being increasingly excluded by Captain Masters and as a result, when he wasn't assisting Professor Dumfries, he was spending days at a time exploring the vast empty ruins and corridors of the City. It was during one of these excursions that he discovered the truth: everything in the city was the result of massive engines powered by hundreds upon hundreds of Klosov slaves. At first, hostile, they began to communicate with him, and he discovered that the Nacera were invaders. They'd been welcomed into the city, but betrayed their hosts, and cast them out. The Klosov attacks on the city had been attempt to free their friends and family members who'd been captured and enslaved by the Nacera.

When confronted with this, Captain Masters admitted that he'd known for some time, but that sacrifices needed to be made to maintain civilization. When Jefferson argued with him, he had him exiled, saying, "If you'd rather live in the caves with the animals, then you're welcome to do so!" Before long, Corporal Hellgate and, finally, Professor Dumfries had joined him in exile. They discovered that the Klosov were scientifically advanced, but had very little concept of military strategy, and extremely limited resources, most of which were dedicated to keeping themselves stocked with necessary supplies to maintain survival.

There followed a period of guerilla warfare as the Klosov, under the command of Corporal Hellgate, captured supply craft, mining vessels and cargo destined for the Nacera cities. They attacked Nacera mining complexes, freeing the slaves and blasting the shafts, denying the Nacera access to even more resources. Professor Dumfries spent his time gradually piecing together their language, culture and history, and Jefferson assisted by teaching the Klosov how to create usable technology without access to the lost technology still under the control of the Nacera, and drilling the troops in covert and stealth warfare.

For almost a decade, the war raged, but finally, the Klosov gained the upper hand. On the eve of their final battle, they presented their Earthling allies with a parting gift. The original Shooting Star, which they had recovered and at last had been able to repair. Hellgate and Dumfries climbed back aboard, but Jefferson elected to stay. As he explained it, he’d dedicated himself to a heroic cause once, only to return to a world which refused to give him the dignity afforded any other man, and, as he said, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." And with that, Corporal Hellgate and Professor Dumfries returned, over half a century later, to their home planet, and Jefferson went on the lead the Klosov's final attack on the tyrannical Nacera warlords and their cruel and deranged God-King. The eventual outcome of this attack is, as yet, unknown.

Corporal Harriet Hellgate: Corporal Hellgate is a woman out of time. Having last seen Earth in 1958, she has missed over a half a century of societal, cultural, technological and historical progress. Much of the world is foreign to her, even moreso than the interdimensional Martian World she spent almost two thirds of her life on. Ostensibly, she is at the Eisner Academy because she is unable to contend with the 21st Century World, but the truth is that she is here because of Professor Dumfries. Once one of the most brilliant men on Earth, he is now 50 years out of date, and showing the ravages of age. He doesn't have many years left, and Corporal Hellgate had decided that she will stay and take care of him so that he always has one face he can still recognize close to hand. Once a nurse, she says, always a nurse. Once a strikingly pretty young woman, her years on the alternate Mars have tempered her like steel. She keeps her iron-grey hair cut very short, and has a harsh, hard-bitten expression on her face at almost all times - the one exception being when she is with the Professor. She tends to dress in men's clothing in cuts common to the 1940's and 50's (She ABSOLUTELY refuses to wear skirts) and usually has a military demeanour. While she's very intelligent, there is much about the modern world she finds confusing and this annoys her. She has very little patience and is very sensitive if she feels she is being patronized.

Professor Digby Dumfries: Professor Dumfries is a man out of time. Having last seen Earth in 1958, he has missed over a half a century of societal, cultural, technological and historical progress. Much of the world is foreign to him, even moreso than the interdimensional Martian World he spent almost two thirds of his life on. Ostensibly, he is at the Eisner Academy because he is unable to contend with the 21st Century World, but the truth is that he is here because of his advanced age and diminished physical and mental capacities. Once one of the most brilliant men on Earth, he is now 50 years out of date, and showing the ravages of extreme age. While he is still largely the man he was mentally, he is showing the very early signs of dementia, occasionally becoming forgetful and disoriented. The only person he is really comfortable about is Corporal Hellgate, who is currently acting as his nurse and carer. Professor Dumfries was almost a stereotypical eccentric scientist, jovial and friendly, but with a tendency towards absent-mindedness and getting caught up in whatever he's studying at the time. Formerly a rotund and jolly fellow, his decades on Mars have left him somewhat shrunken and a little bedraggled. For decades, his focus was on survival, not personal presentation, and he's become used to not caring about combing his hair, changing out of his pyjamas or getting regular meals. If left to his own devices, he's quite happy to potter about, however, he doesn't like to be reminded that many of the 'world-changing scientific breakthroughs' of his younger years are today's workaday mundane facts of life.

Sergeant Jeremiah ‘Jets’ Jefferson: 'Jets' Jefferson is an accomplished mechanic and highly-decorated WWII veteran. He was also a talented pilot, however, he was forbidden to fly by a Commanding Officer who felt that a black man could fix a plane, but couldn't be trusted to pilot one. Handsome, athletic and thoughtful, he had always bristled beneath the command of Captain Masters, whom he could see as another white man who could only be comfortable around a black man who "knew his place", still the chance to work with cutting edge technology and be part of one of the most advanced vehicles on Earth was irresistable. Jackson had a tremendous capacity for ingenuity, and was frequently able to achieve amazing results with minimal resources. He was also able to use this talent strategically, transforming a seemingly inevitable loss into a resounding victory by maximising every resource at his command. During his years on 'Mars', Jefferson became even more physically and mentally powerful as the restrictions of an oppressive society fell away and he was able to explore his full potential. By the time Corporal Hellgate and Professor Dumfries returned to earth, he was a physical Atlas, a mental wizard, a gifted swordsman and a master strategist to dwarf Napoleon or Alexander.

Captain Lance ‘Sky’ Masters: In his youth, Captain Masters was an all-American, square-jawed hero. Tall, blonde, athletic and courageous. Unfortunately, as his team members discovered, he was also vain, self-obsessed, tyrannical and prone to terrible depths of hubris. Over the decades, he became increasingly wracked with the effects of hedonistic living and prone to suspicion and paranoia. By the time of the final battle between the Nacera and the Klosov, he was a haunted and hollow shadow of the man he had once been.